Eyes that See
by KellieLynn1822
Summary: After Bella Swan lost everyone and was transformed into a vampire, she feels no remorse for taking human lives, until she looks into the eyes that would change her existence forever...
1. Chapter 1

I locked on to the scent. Wow, that was potent. How could something smell so good? I could only imagine how good it would taste. Venom flowed freely in my mouth and I welcomed it, I could not wait to sink my teeth into the flesh that was emitted that glorious fragrance. I started zeroing in on the smell which was leading me to a dark alley way right outside an old bar.

Perfect, I thought its dark and he's alone and hopefully a little drunk. It shouldn't be too hard to convince this poor guy to take a walk with me; I knew just how persuasive and sexy I could be. Of course hearing the thoughts of every guy around helped a lot I knew what they saw and what they wanted, too bad they never actually got it. I tried to be quick with my victims I didn't want to prolong their agony needlessly.

A few men noticed me walking to the opening of the alleyway, great, I thought. I shot the men a menacing stare that was cold and terrifying. I snarled a bit just to make sure that they got the message to stay away. No need for any extra deaths. I just wanted that tantalizing blood that was getting further and further away from me.

Get it together Bella, I thought, put your predator face on. I was encapsulated by the darkness now which was just what I needed. He never sensed me coming until I was right behind him. I tapped him gently on the shoulder but it was enough for him to curse loudly and swing around with his fists clenched. Feisty, I thought, this could be fun. His expression of paranoia and anger disappeared as soon as he caught site of me. "Wow" was all he could say for the first ten seconds then his instincts registered that something was not quite right and he tensed up again. He could not even see me properly in this light. I worried a little at what his reaction would be if I had actually surprised him somewhere well lit.

"May I help you?" he cautiously asked glancing over my shoulder and behind him to see if there were any other people around.

"Umm… I was wondering if you could show me how to get to the Twilight apartment buildings, there is a party there that I am supposed to attend but I seem to have gotten myself all turned around." My voice was deep and sultry men just couldn't resist it.

"Sure, it's just through this alleyway and about two blocks down Park Rd. that runs next to The Gardens. I'll walk with you, a woman like you should not be walking around this part of town by yourself." Awe, he was trying to be all chivalrous and stuff. I glanced up just enough to agree with him but kept my eyes focused on the top of his head. I could never look into the eyes of my potential meals, it always came me flashbacks to when I first became what I am now, a vampire. His scent assailed my nostrils every time he spoke or moved his body through the humid July air, it was almost too much. My restraint was being pushed to the edge. How could he smell so good? I'd never inhaled anything as delicious as this in my fifty years as a vampire. It was taking every ounce of strength I had not to pounce on this man right now. He was trying to make small talk while I tried not to kill him in the middle of the sidewalk.

"So what's your name, beautiful?" he asked.

"Bella, Bella Swan," I answered, it did not really matter if he knew my name he'd be dead in just a few minutes. "What's yours?" I asked just to be polite.

"Edward, Edward Masen," he responded.

"Well, Edward Masen thanks for walking all this way with me I hope I didn't keep you from anything."

"No ma'am don't you worry I'm just glad I was there to help you." He spoke so assuredly. We walked until we reached The Gardens, a very beautiful Eden surrounding by groves of trees. I had my plan figured out in my head, I would fall down and feign a broken ankle I would blame it on my shoes and clumsiness. Once he came back to me I would suggest he take me into the park where I could rest on one of the benches. There was never anyone in The Gardens at this time of night so I would be safe from exposure. There I would lean in to give him a kiss on the cheek; he would think I was thanking him for taking care of me. As soon as that thought passed through his head I would lower my lips down to his neck a pierce his skin with my teeth and allow his sweet, hot blood to run down my throat. I could almost taste it now.

Now was my time to put my plan into action. I stopped for second and broke a twig and fell on the ground. It sounded convincing enough to make him believe I had actually broken my ankle. I cried out as if I was in pain and Edward snapped his head back to see me lying on the ground cringing with pain. He rushed over to me and asked what happened. I explained that I was walking and tripped over my own feet in these ridiculous shoes and that I thought I had broken my ankle. Next thing I knew he was trying to pick me up. I really did not need him touching me because it would be a dead give away that I was not normal, normal people did not walk around with skin as cold as ice in the middle of July. I waved him off and used his shoulder to support myself on. He helped me hobble through the grove of trees and into the park. I could see all the little animals scurry away as I entered; they knew what was best for them. Edward led me to a bench where he gently helped me sit down.

"Thank you so much," I said.

"No problem ma'am here let me have a look at it." Edward said. It was a good thing I was wearing thick black stockings under my dress. Edward removed my shoe and began to lightly press his fingers to the spots he thought would be sensitive. I responded with a light gasp but I was trying to let me see that it was not hurting that much anymore. I needed his blood… bad… and I was tired of playing games. He slipped my other shoe off my foot and suggested that he just carry me to the apartment that I needed to go to. I laughed and said I would love that but suggested that we just sat and talk for a few minutes before we started going anywhere.

I moved closer to him and I could hear his heart beat start to accelerate. But what I could not hear was what he was thinking. How strange, maybe something was wrong with him. I decided that it did not really matter because he would be alive much longer.

"Thanks for taking care of me." I stated using my ultra sexy voice. He was speechless for a moment. But he pulled himself together enough to muster up a "you're welcome." That's when I moved in. I lightly kissed him on the cheek then moved my lips down to his neck.

"Bella," he softly said. I had to recoil at the way he said it. The way he said my name reminded me too much of the way _he _had said it, that was one human memory I could never shake off. Then I made the biggest mistake. I looked into his eyes. I half expected them to be _his _eyes. But what I saw there was much more devastating. They were the most beautiful green eyes I had ever seen. I could see that every shade of green could be found in these remarkable eyes, emerald, leaf, grass, Kelly, hunter, olive green, you name it and it was there. It would not even take my vampire eyes to realize that Edward's eyes were the most gorgeous thing anyone could ever see. And at this realization I had to run. Edward had a confused look on his face that was washed with uncertainty as I began to retreat from him.

"What's wrong?" he asked. I could not answer because I was holding my breath. I could not take in a lung full of air until I was far away from this man. I ran away at an inhuman speed. I no longer cared if Edward saw me I just wanted to be free of that intoxicating scent and those piercing, beautiful, and deep green eyes.

I attacked the first thing that crossed my path. I looked down and noticed it was a man in a business suit. Damn, I thought, now I'll have to hide the body. Even though I had this mess to clean up, I knew it was worth it. I needed the blood since I could not get that sweet, sweet blood from Edward. I still do not understand how he did that. He reminded me so much of the one I hated, the one I had taken me away from myself, and those eyes… "Snap out of it, Bella," I muttered to myself. He's just a lost meal no more than that.

Suddenly I was insanely thirsty again. It's as if just thinking about Edward sets my throat on fire. I started running again, anything that crossed my path, I attacked.

By the time dawn was breaking the death toll of my rampage was ten. Ten humans that had incidentally crossed my path and would never see the sun rise again. I am a terrible monster. I had to get out of this city, of course no one would ever find the bodies, but ten disappearances in one night are just a tad bit suspicious. For all I knew Edward could have already gone to the police. Looking back I really should have been more careful, too many deaths in too small an area. I could not help myself, the killing instinct and extreme thirst took over everything, there was no human thinking or emotions involved. Soon I was running again. I did not stop for a long time. The sun had set and rose again by the time I began to slow down. I had come to the outskirts of another city. I was not thirsty at the moment so the city was safe for now.

I then remembered that my clothes were torn and blood-soaked. I should know by now to carry an extra set of clothes with me. I noticed a lone woman walking on the side walk by a walled neighborhood; no one would ever see anything.

I walked up to her and put my arms around her as if I was giving her hug and quickly snapped her neck. No need for pain or blood, I'd had my fill and I needed these clothes clean. I changed into the now dead woman's jeans and white button down shirt in a nearby wooded area and disposed of the body where no one could find it. Chalk another mark up to my death toll.

Killing people did not bother me anymore the way it used to; it's just what had to be done. As long as I never looked in my victims eyes, I was fine. Humanity was no more than a food source to me anymore. The only humans I ever did care for were destroyed a long time ago. I walked toward the city, figuring I could spend some time shopping and getting some clothes that I could carry with me. Shopping seemed like a perfectly human thing to do.

I was crossing the street about to enter a small little boutique when I stopped dead in my tracks. This just could not be possible. I could not believe the scent that just entered my nose. Edward. How in the hell is he here?

"Bella," he said sounding exactly the same way he sounded last night. Is it possible that my already ice cold skin grew colder?

"Edward?" I asked trying to play cool but failing miserably. He had caught me off guard.

"You ran away from me last night," he stated. I remained silent, how could I possibly respond to that? "I didn't like that," he continued, "I was being nothing but a gentleman and you up-and-run off on me." His voice sounded so menacing. What was he thinking? Dammit! Why can't I read his mind, this would be so much easier. He came up close to me, way to close. His scent was wonderful and overpowering and I was about to lose all control. A snarl ripped through my throat and reverberated in the air between us.

He leaned down to my ear and whispered, "Calm down little tiger, I know what you are." I was stunned into silence. Did he seriously just call me "little tiger" and how could he possibly know what I was? I was so angry, I wanted to lunge at his throat and rip it out right in the middle of the busy street. The only thing stopping me was the sudden sense of insecurity and curiosity that bathed me now. "Let's walk," he suggested. He laced his fingers through mine as if we were in a relationship and had known each other for years.

What the hell? Just who does this Edward Masen think he is? And more importantly, what did he think I was? Humans made incorrect guesses as to what I was all the time, but he seemed so sure of himself.

He led me to a row of apartment buildings. "Here we go ma'am, this should give us some privacy," he said confidently. I was expecting to follow Edward into the basement of some secluded part of the complex, but Mr. Mystery walked straight to a door that opened into an apartment.

Man, I was so confused. "You can have a seat if you want to, I would prefer you did," Edward said.

I could not get caught off guard again. "Well, I prefer to stand, thank you, would you tell me what's going on?" before I kill you I added silently.

"Bella Swan, I know what you are."

"And what is that Mr. Masen?" I replied. He grinned the most crooked grin I had ever seen and that's when I realized that he was quite good looking for a human. His copper, bronze hair stood off his head in every direction as if he just rolled out of bed. His skin was pale and flawless with prominent cheek bones and a jaw-line that could cut. The last thing I gazed at were his eyes, his piercing crystal eyes that anyone could stare into for days.

"You're a vampire," he said it as if it were nothing; as if he had just told me that my hair was brown.

"What led you to this fine conclusion, Mr. Masen?"

"I really wish you wouldn't call me that, Mr.-"

"Masen is my father, yeah, yeah I've heard that before it's not funny, and if you don't tell me how you know what I am within the next thirty seconds, I am going to rip your damn head off of your cocky little shoulders." I was beyond furious; he's standing there joking around about knowing what I was. Twenty seconds went by and he still hadn't given me an answer, I grabbed the collar of his shirt tightly in my hand, constricting his throat," Answer me now!" I growled.

"Okay, okay," he choked, I loosened up. "Geez kitty, you are something fierce." I snarled once more hoping he would get the message that he was not going to be alive much longer.

"I know that you are a vampire," he struggled, and for once he looked fearful, "because I used to be one."

"Impossible," that was all I could manage to say. In my fifty years I have never heard of any vampire being able to return mortal.

"Oh, it's quite possible, Mrs. Swan, if you really want it," he added.

"Explain, now," I demanded. He paused for 45 seconds. Yes, I was counting, I wanted to know how this was possible and he putting it off was driving me even more insane than I already was.

"I will explain, but first I need to know how you became a vampire, and how you control your thirst, it's very important that I know these things, I want to help you," he said also caringly.

"Who ever said that I needed or wanted help? It's just mere curiosity that's keeping me here and keeping me from killing you," I stated, I was tried of his crap.

"Silly Bella, you can't kill me, I may not be a vampire, but I am still immortal," he said patting me on the head. Seriously, if he touches me one more time I'm going to lose it, what does he mean he's still immortal? "Would you like to cooperate now?"

"Just tell me why I have to tell you the story of my existence," I finally started to lose the edge in my voice.

"I need to know because your story will help me tell you my story," Edward answered. Cryptic enough? Geez, I can't get a straight answer out him. We sat in silence for ten minutes while I contemplated telling this non-vampire-but-still-immortal stranger about my life.

I finally broke the silence, "I was bitten in 1960."

"How old were you?" he asked.

"I had just turned 18, I was bitten on my birthday," I said, he grimaced.

"What a lovely birthday present." he said. "How did it happen?"

"I was opening presents at my birthday party when I got a paper cut," I said, having blurry flashbacks to that horrible day, "My best friend, Alice Cullen, had a boyfriend, Jasper Whitlock, who was a vampire, she knew his secret, but no one else did. One drop of blood hit the carpet and it was all over for me and everyone else. He attacked and there was no one to stop him. Next thing I could feel was the burning, but it was the screaming overpowered the pain. Jasper had turned one everyone at my party; he killed them all, my family, and my friends, even his girlfriend and my best friend, Alice. Everyone was completely drained, I was the only one that he left burning. After everyone was dead, he was holding Alice's small limp body in his arms when he looked at me with blood-red eyes and whispered, 'Bella.' That was all I ever heard from him, he ran off with Alice's body and I've never seen him since" Edward looked stunned. It was kind of nice to see that I could finally do the stunning, but it still hurt to recount my story to this stranger.

"Can you tell me exactly how many people you lost?"

"Everyone, Edward, I lost everyone; my mother, Renee, my father, Charlie, my fiancé Jacob, his father and pack of friends, my best friend Alice, and her family, overall fifteen people gone in an instant. But you know what my biggest lost was? I lost myself and everything I had worked for. I lost all self-control and reasoning. Jake and I were supposed to be married that summer before we went off to college; I loved him so much and still do." I couldn't talk anymore, if I was capable of crying I would have been sobbing by now. Edward and I sat in the quiet for thirty minutes. All I wanted to do was leave but Edward had yet to tell me his story.

"So, can I hear your story now, Edward?" I asked quietly.

"In a little bit," he responded, "I still need to get a few more answers and learn more about you. What are your feelings about your creator?"

He was making this sound like a therapy session. "Are you kidding me? My creator? He didn't create anything, he _murdered _me, and damned me to hell and as for my 'feelings' toward him, and I _hate_ him. If I were ever lucky enough to come across him again, I would kill him, no questions asked, right on the spot."

"That's good," I heard him mutter, "Do you have any special talents or abilities?"

"Yeah, I can read minds," I stated flatly. Edward didn't look surprised. "Do you have any special talents, Mr. Masen?"

"Well, apparently you can't read my mind or you would already know that yes, I do, I can read minds also."

"Really now?" I sighed.

"Yes, but I can't read yours just as you can't read mine."

"That's weird," I said; as if this whole situation wasn't already weird enough lets add defunct mind-reading skills to the pile, "I wonder why that is," I said to myself.

"It's because you are still a vampire and I am not." Of course he had the freaking answer. His arrogance is constantly grating on my nerves. "This leads me to my next question, what is your diet?"

"What kind of question is that? I'm vampire what would you expect my diet to be, waffles and bacon? Blood, human blood, is what my diet consists of."

"Have you ever considered an alternative?"

"What could possibly be an alternative to blood?" I asked.

"Well, it's not really an alternative, its still blood, but you wouldn't have to continue killing humans, you can survive on the blood of animals."

"Are you just insane? I mean seriously, animals? How could that possibly sustain me?"

He answered, "Sure they don't taste or smell as good as humans do, but blood is blood and when it comes to killing, animals cause a lot less guilt than killing humans does."

"I don't feel guilty for killing humans anymore. They are no more than a food source. After everyone was taken away from me, I stopped caring about other lives, unless I happen to look in a victim's eyes, like Jasper did to me, it was what stopped me from biting you a couple nights ago."

"So, you wouldn't even attempt to survive on animal blood?" Edward asked.

"It's not that I wouldn't try its just that I don't really see how it could work."

"It worked for me," that was all I got from Edward for awhile. Anytime I tried to say something he would wave me off and sink back into silence. After an hour of nothing, I decided it was my time to leave. I got up and walked to the door at vampire speed, some how Edward was there before me.

"And just where do you think you're going?" he questioned.

"Well, since you were just sitting there for an hour thinking about God knows what , I decided that I should take my leave seeing as your thoughts are more important than my presence that you insisted on being here," I retorted.

"Don't you even a care to know my story?" he said, sounding almost dejected.

"If you care to finally tell me then yes, I would like to hear it," I gave in.


	2. Chapter 2

Edward wearily led me back to the couch. His eyes suddenly grew dark, and he looked distant as if he had traveled back in time with no intention of returning to the present any time soon. I almost wanted to wave my hand in front of his eyes to make sure that he still knew I was there, but I refrained.

Finally, his eyes returned to the present and he relaxed his posture a bit. He began with a smile and asked, "Where would you like me to start, Bella?"

"Um… the beginning I guess, I mean I'm not sure what your story entails, but if you want to share it with me, I would think the whole story would be needed," I tried to shake off the sarcastic tone because obviously this was a big deal to Edward, but I just could not help it.

"Well, I was born, as a human, in England in 1775." What else would he have been born as, a donkey? "A year before America declared its independence. My father was a clergyman and my mother tended the home, I was their only child. We lived in a very rural part of England, the closest city was almost three days away, and so news of what was happening in America traveled slowly. It was almost as if the war was over before we had really found out what was going on," he added lightly. "But the war really has nothing to do with my story, like I said we barely knew anything about it."

"Maybe you should just stick to the important stuff," I remarked, I felt bad about what I had said as soon as I said it, "sorry, it's your story please continue."

"Thank you Ms. Swan, sorry I was boring you," Oops, I thought, damn my sarcasm.

"In 1795, my family and I had finally saved up enough money to visit the city, we chose London. I was twenty at the time, and working with my father in the clergy. He was very strict and stuck to his beliefs, and I was to follow in his foot steps. My mother's birthday happened to fall on one of the days that we were staying in London, my father and I decided we would treat her to dinner. We went to a nice restaurant right in the heart of London, my mother was so pleased. After dinner we were strolling around the streets of London, just taking in everything, it was so different from what we were used to back at home," he paused for a moment taking a deep breath and collecting his thoughts. When Edward spoke again his voice was laced with sadness and guilt.

"That's when I heard the screaming, it was a horrible high pitched shriek followed by blood-curdling screams that was choked off with gurgles and a deep menacing laugh. I left my parents at the street and every instinct in my body led me to the origin of that scream. I followed the narrow back alleys until I came upon the scene that even today I cannot get out of my head. This man was clutching this poor woman's body with his mouth at her throat as if he were giving her a romantic kiss. She was covered in her own blood and had gashes covering her body, it looked as if she had tried to put up a fight, but she could not win. The man dropped the woman and looked up at me, leaving her lying on the ground with blood still flowing from her neck. 'What have we here?' he asked. His tone of voice is what terrified me the most; he spoke as if we were old buddies who had just seen each other after a long time apart. I was so grateful that I had left my parents at the street; I knew I was going to die and I didn't want them seeing it happen. I remained silent as the monster moved closer to me. 'Oh calm, calm, my young boy there is no need to worry, I am not going to kill you, that would be a waste, a lad like you should live forever, I am going to give you a new and eternal life.' These were the last words he spoke before he sunk his teeth into my neck forever extinguishing the hopes I had. He left me in that alley along with the slaughtered woman to suffer and burn."

For once, I was speechless; stunned just as Edward had been when I told him my story.

We both had been mutilated and left to burn with no clue as to what was really happening.

"Are you okay, Edward?" He looked as if he frozen in place and was never going to move again.

"Yes, I'm fine, Ms. Swan, sorry," Edward added, I could tell that he hated for me to see him look so broken; he wore his cockiness as a mask. "Would you like me to continue?"

As much as I did not want to admit, I had begun to care for Edward and his story. The way he told it made me want to protect him from any harm that came his way.

"Yes, please continue Edward," my voice softened at his name, and he seemed to relax again.

"After three days of lying in tortuous pain, I found that my strength had grown exponentially and every sense in my body was acute. Thirst overcame my every thought, so I turned to the woman's body that was left with me. It was horrible but what was left of the blood I drank. It tasted disgusting because her blood was cold and tarnished by the bacteria that had taken over. I immediately went in search of fresh blood. I tried to stick to the outskirts of town; I didn't want to draw attention to myself. There was a couple walking along the road and before I could actually realize what I was doing I attacked them. They were dead within seconds and their blood was delicious. I felt relieved after I had satiated my thirst, but that relief did not last for long. When I looked down unto my unfortunate victims faces, I was looking into the faces of my parents."

Edward stopped and looked at me as if he were the worst person in the world.

"What must you think of me, Bella? I killed my own parents and drank their blood, I am the most terrible monster there is," Wow, was all I could think. Edward really loathed himself for what he did, when in actuality he had no control over it. I would have thought that he could have forgiven himself for something like this but apparently not. I moved over to the same couch that he was occupying and placed a friendly hand on his back. What could I possibly say?

"I don't think you're a monster, obviously you've done something right because you are no longer a vampire, you no longer have the need to kill and drink blood. I've killed so many people now that I can't even keep count, I'm the monster not you," I finally managed to get this much out. "If you don't want to tell me anymore of your story, I understand."

"You already know half of it so I might as well continue," Edward answered, his breath made my throat burst into flames. I had almost forgotten what his scent was like. I forced myself back to the other couch where fresh air and clear thoughts welcomed me.

"After I killed my parents," he flinched as he said this, "I ran, I ran as fast as I could hoping that maybe I could outrun what I had become. I ran for a week non-stop, never tiring, never slowing down, my thirst was extreme but I refused myself to kill another human. I hated what I had become and wanted to destroy myself. After my week of running, I decided that I would try every possible way to kill myself. Of course nothing worked, even though I was weak from the lack of blood, my body survived everything I put it through. Winter was beginning to creep in, so I found a small meadow in the middle of no where and laid there hoping that maybe I would just waste away into nothing. Winter came and the snow fell over my body, I did nothing to try to move it off of me, I welcomed it. I welcomed the nothingness that it offered, the prison that kept everyone safe from me. But of course the snow melted and I was left in the meadow with nothing. After laying here for six months, I decided that I would have to find some way to live with the curse that I had been dealt. Luckily for me, I found the solution when a herd of deer moved through the woods close to the meadow."

"Their blood wasn't nearly as good as human blood, but after going without anything for such a long time, it felt amazing. I felt stronger and more energized than I had ever felt. That's when I came to the realization that I could survive without killing humans," he looked so proud of himself, it was impossible not to smile along with him. "Then in 1800, after five years of living as a vampire in England, I decided to travel to America to start a new life. There would be new game for me to hunt, and that excited me. I landed in New York and hunted the wildlife there. I would occasionally run into other vampires, and they would be extremely confused by my lifestyle, they didn't understand how animal blood could sustain a vampire."

"Well, I would wonder why," I added, I had gone quite some time without in interjection of a snarky comment, I had to say something.

He ignored my remark and carried on. "I had made a couple of friends that I could count on; they all suggested that I go to the Volturi in Italy because they were always looking for talented vampires to add to their guard. I didn't necessarily want to go back to Europe; I had just gotten settled in America. I began to travel around the country, a nomad, wanting to experience the freedom that the new country offered. I saw everything from the Smokey Mountains to the Grand Canyon. It was so beautiful, and there were so many different animals. Bears, mountain lions, wolves, deer, elk, mountain lions were my favorite."

I had to snicker at the thought of Edward taking down a mountain lion. "I spent fifty years exploring America, I went places humans couldn't go, deep caverns, underwater reefs, mountain caves, it was exhilarating and like nothing I had ever experienced before. After I had done everything in America, I took a trip to Italy to introduce myself to the Volturi. When I arrived, they welcomed me with open arms. Aro immediately wanted me to join his guard, I questioned their eating habits, but I should've known it would be human. The entire guard laughed at me when I told them that I only drank the blood of animals. It was then that I took my leave from the Volturi. I couldn't handle them mocking me for my decision. I came back to America."

"I'm really sorry to interrupt, Edward, but could you please give me the rest of the story in a shortened version, my thirst is becoming intolerable," his scent was really getting to me and the fact that I would never be able to taste his blood was driving me insane.

"I apologize for keeping you, Bella, if you would like we could continue this conversation another day," he sounded sadden almost as if he did not want me to leave.

"How about I go hunt and come back in a couple of hours, will you still be here?" I propositioned.

"Yes, I will wait on you, but before you go, can I make a request? You may refuse if you would like, but I would be pleased if you took it into consideration."

"Go ahead Edward, I'll listen," I answered.

"Okay, while you are on this hunting trip, could you please try animal blood? If it makes you feel better, find a carnivore, their blood tastes closer to that of a human, and it offers a good transition," his request did not surprise me.

"I'll try, Edward," I left it at that. It seemed like my whole life had been turned around within the hours that I had spent here with Edward. I did not want to be the monster that I was anymore. Right now, I was no better than Jasper, and that thought sickened me. Living off of animal blood did not seem like a thing that could just be adapted to over night, but I would try. Since Edward had told me his story, I no longer wanted to be a monster. I was reflecting on how many lives I had taken. Countless numbers of people who had families and people who cared about them, but I took them away from that just as Jasper had done with me.

Today, I would start over. I know I could never give back the lives that I had taken, but I would never again take another life. I would survive on animals. Wow, in these short hours, Edward had completely changed me. Before I walked out the door, I turned to Edward and said, "I will do more than try, Edward. Thank you so much for telling me your story, its making me see that I no longer want to be a monster. I will return in a few hours and I would be honored if you could continue telling me your story." Edward did not say anything, but as I was walking out the door he had that beautiful, crooked smile on his face.


	3. Chapter 3

What had I gotten myself into? Humans were easy to hunt they generally did not run away from me, animals, that's a whole other thing. They had innate survival instincts and knew when something dangerous was coming. But, I had told Edward I would try. I set out across the street, it was dark now, probably around ten o'clock. Dang, I had spent the whole day with Edward, and I found myself wanting to spend more time with him. These feelings were new to me in my vampire body, I had gone so long without caring about anyone except myself and to have all of these emotions piled on in one day was overwhelming, but not nearly as overwhelming as the scent of humans that were walking around me. This was going to be very difficult. I held my breath for the longest time while I was searching for some were to begin my hunt. I made it out of the city and began running. I was in the forest in no time, but I still was not sure where I actually was, but that really did not matter I would just be able to follow my scent back to Edward. I let my instincts take over and listened carefully for the thud of a heartbeat. I was rewarded when I heard not only one heartbeat, but five. I crouched down and followed the scent and sound that would bring my burning throat some relief. The ground began to slope downward into a small creek and there awaited my first animal meal, five deer, one buck and four doe. There scent was no where near as potent as a human's scent was, but it smelled good. I made one wrong step and accidentally snapped a twig. The startled deer looked up, and then began sprinting off into the denser part of the forest. "Dammit!" I yelled, and then I began to chase them. I quickly caught up with the herd and pounced on the big buck wrestling him to the ground and biting at his jugular vein. I drank up the warm blood that flowed from it. It tasted tangy and was not as good as human blood by far, but the fire in my throat ceased and I felt stronger. I decided I would hunt down the rest of the doe at feed on at least one of them. I knew that when I returned to Edward, my throat would burst on fire again. It was easier to track the doe this time. I had gotten their distinct scent in my nose and in no time I was done with the doe. It had been about an hour and a half since I had left Edward, and I was wondering if he would have actually waited on me, the emotions were coming back and I found myself needing to see Edward again. And once again I was covered in blood and my clothes had been torn, "you seriously have to get some clothes," I told myself, but I did not have time for that, I wanted to be back with Edward. I ran as fast as I could, following the trail that had led me out here. When I reached the city, I had to stick to the shadows and avoid being seen by humans. They probably would have freaked just a little bit if they saw a women walking down the middle of the street covered in blood and torn clothes. I made it back to the apartment, and was confused as to what I should do. Should I knock? What if someone that was not Edward opened the door? Gratefully, I did not have to think about it for too long, I was just about to knock when Edward opened the door.

"Hey, Ed-" he cut me off and began laughing hysterically. He grabbed my hand and pulled me in the building and I followed him to his apartment. He was still laughing when we got in there.

"What's so funny?" I asked.

"Are you really asking me that?" he giggled, "you're drenched in blood! And your clothes are torn here," he touched the tear that was right above my chest, "and here," he spun me around to touch the huge rip right under my butt. My breathing picked up at his touch; if my heart could beat it would be pounding right now. He spun me back around and wiped off some of the blood that was on my cheek. I had never noticed until now how electrifying Edward's touch was.

"Here you can use the bathroom to clean up, and you can wear some of my clothes," he offered.

"So you do actually live here?" I asked.

"No, I don't live here. I just know how to get into just about anywhere I want, and the clothes I always carry with me." I laughed inwardly; I should be as prepared as Edward. He left me to clean up and change. Edward had left me a simple t-shirt and some sweat pants. They were a little big but I was not going to complain, plus they smelled like him and I was heavenly but tortuous at the same time. I let my hair hang soaking wet. I just kept surprising myself at how comfortable I was getting around Edward, and after only knowing him for one day!

I walked back into the main room and found Edward lying down across the couch reading a book. Good God he was beautiful. I stood there for the longest time just staring at him. When he finally looked up and noticed me standing there he sat up.

"I'm sorry, Bella, I was getting caught up in my book," well I was getting caught up in you, I thought.

"Its ok," I took my place on the chair across from the couch. Edward looked at me puzzled, but did not say anything. Did he expect me to sit with him?

"I guess you would like to here how I became what I am now, a non- vampire immortal."

"That's why we're here," I responded.

He grinned and began, "Okay, so, I believe I left off with my returning to America after my failed attempt to befriend the Volturi. It was 1802 when I came back, and since I had already had my taste of the big city, with New York, I decided I would get out into the wilderness that I enjoyed so much. There would be plenty of animals to hunt and plenty of space just to be a vampire and make the most of my life. I chose the small town of Forks, Washington to make my life. I built a house in the middle of the forest there and it was my home. One day I went out for a hunt, and when I returned there was a note on my front porch. It said 'I know what you are, and I want to help you.' I was so confused but also afraid. I wondered who I had encountered that could possibly know what I was. There was an address on the note and the next day I went to find out who else knew my secret." he paused.

"Bella, this next part of the story is going to surprise you, promise me that you will let me thoroughly explain it before you interrupt, which I know will be hard for you."

"Okay?" well now this had taken a turn.

"I found the house to which the address on the note belonged to. It was a very nice house, settled back in the woods just as mine was. I made my way to the door, and was greeted inside by a man, his wife, his son and his two daughters. To say that I was highly bewildered would be an understatement. These people smelled like nothing I had ever inhaled before. It was extremely tough for me to maintain my composure, I had gone so long without human blood, but this was too much. The man spoke first, 'Hello, Edward,' he said. I had no idea how he knew my name. 'My name is Carlisle Cullen; this is my family; my wife, Esme; my son, Emmett; and my daughters, Alice and Rosalie. We are immortals, Edward, but not vampires; we would like to show you how we became this way.'"

This was too much. I broke my promise, I had to interrupt, "The Cullen's were killed along with my other family and friends at my birthday. If they were immortal then how did they "die" at my birthday? I had seen each other their bodies as they were being drained by Jasper!"

"Bella, I asked you not to interrupt I am about to explain everything, if you still have any questions you can ask away when I get finished, please allow me to continue."

I took in a deep breath that seemed to help me calm down a bit, "Okay, Edward, I'm sorry I interrupted, like you said you surprised me, go on."

"Thank you, Bella, so Carlisle sat me down and explained what he and his family were and how they became what they were. Bella, it's a very complicated process, are you sure you want to hear it?"

"Yes, I want know."

"Okay, where should I begin?" he said to himself. "To become a non-vampire immortal, you must complete two steps. Even though there are only two, do not in any way think that they are easy. The first is to no longer kill and feed on humans, you must find some way to sustain yourself and commit to it. Animal blood is the most suitable alternative. It seems that you can handle that part even though you do make a mess of yourself. Once you have committed to this abstinence and no longer desire human blood whatsoever, you can move onto the next step. This step is the most crucial and the most difficult. You must find and destroy your creator."

"How would I even begin to locate Jasper? I have not seen or heard from him since my birthday fifty years ago!"

"This is where the Cullen's come in, Bella; the day of your party Jasper did not kill the Cullen's, that's impossible. When they saw that Jasper had lost his control, they faked their deaths so that no one would figure out what they were."

I flew out of my chair. "You mean they could have stopped him?! I lost everyone, Edward, while they laid there letting Jasper turn me then slaughter my whole family! How could they do something like that? They were like my second family, Alice and I shared everything!" I was completely enraged and hurt at their selfishness and lack of care for me when I actually counted them as part of my family.

Edward stood up and wrapped his arms tightly around my body. "Bella, shh, shh, let me finish, Jasper was working to become one of the Cullen's, he was deeply in love with Alice and he wanted to spend the rest of his existence with her, the family had thought that his appetite for human blood was under enough control that he could begin mingling with humans."

"Well, they were damn wrong, I'm so glad they chose my birthday and my family to try their little experiment on!" I said sarcastically, "So why did he not kill me and why didn't the Cullen's do anything to stop him?"

"Bella, they never wanted this to happen, while we are very strong, our strength is no match for a blood-thirsty vampire. Once the Cullen's could see that Jasper was beyond control they had to play along as humans. As to why Jasper didn't kill you, Alice would not let him. The whole family feels horrible and they still have not forgiven themselves for letting this tragedy happen." After I had calmed a bit, Edward walked me back over to his couch to sit down. He still had his arms wrapped around me.

"So where are they now, and what happened to Jasper?"

"They Cullen's are back in Forks once again, they left Phoenix after your failed birthday. Jasper hated himself so much that he ran away. Alice was heartbroken, but what he did to your family made her hate him. She loved you, Bella, and cherished your friendship more than anything; she has told me that she would have put herself in your place a million times over if she could."

"Wait, what do you mean she has told you, do you still communicate with her?"

"Yes, how else would I know this story? The Cullen's gave me life, Bella, do you think I would just turn around and forget all about them? I can't do that."

"So, I now have to go back to face them again after I have thought that they were dead this whole time?"

"Yes, they might have some insight as to where Jasper would be, I know this will be difficult for you, but it has to be done if you want to become like me, but it is up to you, would you like to lose the near constant need for blood?"

"Before I make any decisions, tell me how you did it."

"Well, I had already made my decision to no longer kill humans by the time I had met the Cullen's. All that was left was to destroy my creator, which is way easier said than done. I went back to Europe and searched everywhere for the beast. I would keep thinking that I was getting close to him, but he was always just out of my reach. I spent one hundred and sixteen years searching for this monster."

"One hundred and sixteen years? Wow, Edward," I had a new respect for him; he had determination like no one else I had ever came across.

"Yes, but see, I had no leads, it was just a blind adventure for me, he could have been anywhere, but when I finally did find him he was in the last place I would have expected him to be but the first place that I should have looked. He was working for the Volturi, as a part of their guard. Apparently, he was able to erase people's senses and leave them defenseless. He was highly regarded in the eyes of the Volturi, which also meant highly protected also. The Volutri definitely did not want to lose him, but I wanted him destroyed, and I was the one that had to do it. Some how I got very lucky one day. He was out strolling the grounds in the city of Volterra alone. I knew this was my time to attack. He passed under the huge clock tower that was the centerpiece, of sorts, to the whole city. Before he could ever see me coming, I threw him to the ground and ripped him apart, his dismembered body tried to fight back, but I quickly lit the pile on fire and walked away a free man. The Volturi were furious but they could never pin anything on me. I immediately came back to America, and told Carlisle the good news. The year was 1918, I no longer needed blood to keep me alive, and it felt amazing. I can never put into words the feelings that I felt after losing that animal nature in me. I was free. As an immortal, I have still retained the speed and strength of a vampire, but I have gained a heartbeat, warm skin and my own blood flowing in my veins once again. It feels like being human again, but being so much more than human at the same time. Bella, I would like for you to have this chance too."

The way that Edward described his retransformation gave me hope, I, too, want so bad to have a heartbeat and feel warm again. I want to rid myself of the slavery to my thirst for blood. I want to love and be loved.

"Sign me up, Edward."

He smiled briefly then pressed his soft, warm lips to my cold, hard ones. The world froze around us as electricity sparked between us as never before.


	4. Chapter 4

I had to be the one to break away from the kiss. Did Edward forget that his scent made my throat feel as if I had just swallowed flames?

"Oh damn, Bella, I am so sorry," Edward apologized, " I-"

I cut him off, "Just give me a minute, you know for a guy who wants me to stop

feeding on humans, you sure are making it hard for me."

"I wasn't thinking, I'm so sorry. I just got so caught up, I didn't think you would

even consider what I had to say. I'm just extremely happy."

"I know, its ok. Besides the scorching burn in my throat, that was nice. I haven't

felt that in a very long time," I moved back over to him, the fire had calmed and it only

felt like I had a few embers stuck in my throat. Edward slowly moved towards me, he

was gauging his every move to make sure that I could handle it. I nodded to him and he

came to stand right in front of me. He reached his hand out to gently move a stray

piece of hair away from my face.

"Isabella, until you become like me, I will not touch you unless you warrant it, I

do not want to be the one that causes you pain, you've had enough of that in your life,"

Edward spoke with absolute sincerity. I knew what I was about to do would be insanely

painful for me, but I did not matter. I wanted to feel Edward's lips on mine once again.

I reached up and grabbed his collar once again, he looked surprised and almost had a

tinge of fear in his eyes.

"This is what I want," I said as I pressed Edward's lips to mine. He put his arms

around me as our mouths moved in unison. The affect was immediate, flames

incinerated my throat. I had to pull back, but Edward refused. He opened his mouth

against mine and slid his tongue over my teeth, tasting the venom that was pooling

there. He tasted amazing; it took every ounce of my energy not to let my teeth sink into his skin. I knew that it would not kill him but it would probably leave a pretty ugly scar and I could not let anything damage his perfect face, it would be a crime. Our embrace continued on, Edward moving, testing me even though he said he wouldn't do anything unless I wanted it. Even though it was painful, I did want this. I was craving it now. I forced myself to put the thirst and burning aside as I maneuvered my tongue between Edward's lips, he had the sweetest mouth. Edward tightened his hold on me and let his hands explore my body. His hands found their home on my hips, as mine became tangled in his hair. I pressed my body into his and he drew back.

"Bella, my Bella," he whispered as he placed a light kiss on my forehead. I knew at that moment that I had never felt nearly as intense about Jacob as I felt about Edward. He consumed my every thought. How could all of these feelings which had been buried for so long reappear one thousand times stronger than I had ever imagined and it such short amount of time? It was baffling.

"I bet you are suffering quite a bit, would you like to hunt again?" Edward asked.

Actually, I had done a pretty good job at blocking the pain out, but the promise of blood brought the feeling back to the forefront of my thoughts. "Yeah, that's probably a good idea; I come back in a little bit, or would you rather us meet somewhere else?"

"Well, if you don't mind, I'd like to come along with you as you hunt."

Weird. "Oh, okay, that's fine. I can't promise it's going to be pretty or anything, you saw what I looked like when I got back here." Which reminded me, must take extra clothes.

Edward chuckled as he licked his lips, "Yes, I remember quite well," his mouth formed that crooked grin from the gods. Oh how I wanted to kiss that smile, but Edward spoke again. "One reason I was wanting to come along was to give you a few pointers to help you not get so messy, the other reason is that a part of me wants to see your clothes get all torn up again when you can't master my tips." Oh, now cocky Edward was back.

"We'll just see about that, I'm a very quick learner," I whispered in his ear as seductively as I could, I was rewarded with the reaction I wanted. Edward's jaw dropped as I walked out door.

I led the way back to where I had gone hunting earlier. Edward kept up the whole time, never once slowing or showing any sign of overexertion. I was impressed. I slowed down as I picked up on the drumming of a heartbeat. The wind blew through and I caught the scent, it smelled delicious. Before Edward could do anything my senses took over and I was flying through the forest searching for the human that would soon be mine. I knew that Edward was behind me, and that I would disappoint him by killing this human as I would be disappointed in myself, but I needed this blood, it was just too good smelling to pass up.

I came upon the human and slowed down, zeroing in on what would be my best plan of attack. I sprung forward and landed behind the male hiker that would soon be my meal. Before he could turn around or I could plunge my teeth into his neck, Edward tackled me to the ground and placed both of his hands firmly over my nose and mouth.

"If you want to live, get the hell out of here right now!" Edward yelled at the hiker. I was thrashing beneath Edward's body that was pinning me to the ground. I thought he said that their strength was no match for a blood-thirsty vampire's. Growls and snarls were ripping through my mouth and I was trying my hardest to get to the dumbfounded human who was gawking at us. His thoughts ranged from curiosity to confusion and fear. Fear ultimately won out.

"I said get out of here!" Edward half snarled and half yelled again at the guy. He got the idea that I was dangerous and he took off running. It would only take me a few seconds to catch up to him.

"Edward, let me go! I need that blood!" I shrieked. I was crazed. He still had his hand over my nose but he had let my mouth go so that I could talk. His body was still on top of mine, creating a prison so that I could not escape.

"Bella, you are not getting that blood," he said it as if I were a kid whose father just told them they couldn't have a piece of candy. "You will never taste human blood again, now if you think you can control yourself, we can go hunt down some animals, but if you can't then I'll just sit here holding you down. I'm happy either way." Ugh, cocky Edward was so annoying!

"Get off of me, Edward."

"Awe, do I gotta?" He sounded like a little kid.

"Yes. Now." I responded.

"Fine." He stood up and offered his hand to help me up. I looked at it then up and him and laughed.

"Like I need your help." I got up on my own.

"Obviously you do, unless you want to just be a blood-thirsty monster your life."

I growled at him and took off running. I was solely searching for animal scents and sounds. I could not handle Edward treating me like a kid anymore. I was kind of thankful I could not read his thoughts; they would probably just make me angrier. I came across some more deer and launched myself at them; I was able to take two down at once.

"Impressive," Edward said as he kneeled down next me while I was holding the deer's neck to my throat. Blood was dribbling down my neck and staining his shirt, at least nothing was torn so far. "Damn, I really liked that shirt." I cut my eyes at him, and continued drinking from the deer. When I finished the first deer I moved on to the second one. The blood had cooled some, but it was still somewhat warm and it soothed my throat.

"So much for me teaching you some lessons on the proper etiquette of feeding from animals," Edward smirked.

I finished the deer, looked up at Edward, and licked my lips slowly.

"Damn Bella, can you do that again?" Edward asked eagerly. I rolled my eyes and stood up.

" No." I said. He stuck his bottom lip out and started pouting. Edward pouting was one of the cutest things I've ever seen. "How old are you, two?"

"Actually, I'm 235." he stated matter-of-factly.

"Ew, old man."

He laughed then said, "Are you satiated, or should we go hunt some more?"

"I think I'm good."

"Okay, then lets go get you cleaned up." We raced back to the bags that Edward had left at the wood line. He tossed me a new shirt because I had ruined his, but the sweat pants were still clean. I changed shirts quickly and wiped off the blood that was on my face and neck with the old shirt.

"So, where should I go now, how do I start this thing?" I asked.

"Oh," Edward said disheartened, "well I guess talking to the Cullen's would be the best place to start for you." He sounded hurt.

"Edward, what's wrong?"

"I was hoping that you would like me to accompany you for your journey, I thought that maybe there was something between us even after only knowing each other for such a short time."

My stone heart melted; did he think I didn't want him? "Edward, I would love it if you came along, but like you said we barely know each other."

"I don't care, I want you Bella, I want to help you and be there for you, if you would have me."

"Edward, these feelings, they are new to me again. I've only had these kinds of feelings for one other person, but in comparison with my feelings for Jacob, they way I am feeling about you feels one thousand times stronger, and to tell you the truth, it scares the living hell out of me."

Edward smiled, "Well, you scare the living hell out of me, Bella Swan."

"Really now, Mr. Masen, how is that so?" I moved closer to Edward and pulled him to me. I put my mouth to his neck.

"B- b-because you do this to me, and I shouldn't trust you, but I do. These feelings are completely and totally new for me, unlike you I never had anyone before; I don't want to do anything to screw this up, like rushing you to change. Are you absolutely sure you want to do this? Just as you've demonstrated it is not going to be easy."

"Yes, I want this and I want you. I think I'll need you to come along and tackle me every time I start to go for a human," I added to lighten the mood.

"Yes, that will be a full-time job for awhile," Edward smiled. It was lovely. I reached up and ran my fingers through his hair. His warmth felt so good against my cold skin. Edward placed his arms around my waist and leaned down to kiss me, flames erupted in my throat, but it was getting easier and easier to push the pain aside, and get lost in the feeling of Edward's lips against mine. He moved his mouth down to my throat and I tensed up, it was a natural reaction, but Edward pressed his soft lips into my marble neck and I relaxed immediately.

"Let's begin, Bella."

* * *

**Sorry it took me so long to update, it's been a busy week. I'll try to get the next chapter up sooner.**

**Review, please! You know you want to all the cool kids are doing it.**


	5. Chapter 5

"Well where are we beginning exactly?" I questioned. I still had no idea where we were.

"I've already told you, we have to go to the Cullen's."

"No, I mean where are we, like, now?"

"Oh, we're somewhere in Alabama."

"Seriously? Alabama? How random," How in the world did I end up here? Maybe I should start paying attention to state lines and city markers. "So, we have quite a trip ahead of us."

"Uh, yes, we do, unless you want to make the trip on these new fancy flying machines they call airplanes, they're really helpful for traveling long distances, have you ever heard of them before?" How could he go from being so sweet to so completely annoying in a matter of seconds?

"Yes, I know what a freaking airplane is, ass, maybe you've forgotten what being on an airplane entails for me. You know being trapped miles above the ground, surrounded by humans might serve as a problem for me."

"Oh, I hadn't thought about that, forgive me," Now sweet Edward was back.

"So, what do you propose me do?"

"Would you like to test your control? The airplane ride could be a great opportunity."

"Just as my birthday party acted as a test for Jasper? Why would you even think that would be a consideration? I'm not going to put anybody's life at risk the way that the Cullen's did. If you don't want to make the trip with me anymore, that's fine. I'm staying on the ground and away from humans. If that is too much of a burden for you then I suggest we go our separate ways." I couldn't believe he had really just suggested that I test my fragile self-control in an airplane full of humans.

"No, I want to stay with you. I'm sorry I suggested that. But we can't run there that would take longer than really necessary. I can drive, if that's okay with you."

"What kind of car you got, Masen?"

"An Aston-Martin Vanquish, Swan." I didn't know much about cars other than what Rosalie had taught me a long time ago, but I knew this was an awesome car.

"Well, now we're talkin'. Let's hit the road." We ran back to Edward's car which was sitting around the corner from the apartment complex that we had been in. It sure was a fine car, all black, inside and out. Edward placed his belongings in the trunk and came around to the passenger side of the car.

"Madam," he said as he bowed and opened the passenger door. I had to laugh at that one.

"Do you need to get anything before we head out?" Edward asked.

I thought about my lack of any real possessions other than the wad of cash and credit cards I always kept with me. "I really don't have anything, I suppose I should pick up some clothes, you know so I look presentable when I see the Cullen's. I don't want to look like I've been roaming around with nothing for the past fifty years."

"Have you really been doing that?"

"Doing what?"

"Roaming around with nothing for the past fifty years?"

"Well, yeah, I mean I've got money for if I ever need it, but I've never spent any of it. I didn't see any sense in carrying random knick-knacks around with me. Anything that was my families, burned with the rest of the people at my party."

"What!?"

"I was somehow dragged outside of my house as I was transforming, I figure it was one of the Cullen's who took me out there, then my whole house was set on fire, with everyone's body still inside. By the time the fire department could get there the whole house was gone, burnt to the ground. Everything was gone."

"They never told me about that," Edward said under his breath.

"That doesn't surprise me. They wouldn't want you thinking badly of them. I'm just glad I've got some of it figured out now, that I know who set the fire and pulled me outside."

"Yeah, I guess that's good to know," Edward added, "would you like to stop somewhere and get some clothes?"

"We can just stop when we get closer; I just want to be on the way now."

"Okay." Edward put the key in the ignition and the Vanquish purred to life. Which ever city we were in did not have much traffic thankfully and we were able to go over a hundred miles per hour most of the time. I loved the speed.

We made the would be two day trip in only one day. We kept up normal conversation but also had times of companionable silence. We were growing more and more comfortable around each other. We talked about what we would have been doing if we had never been bitten, how our lives should have happened. I had to get Edward to stop along the way so that I could hunt. Once again I had to resort to deer, I really wanted to bag a carnivore but I could never track one down. I managed to feed with out ruining my clothes this time after Edward told me that if I kill the animal with my hands first then drink it would cause less blood to go everywhere. After my successful hunt, we were back on the road again.

We about an hour away from Forks when I decided we should stop and get new clothes. From what Edward said there weren't many nice clothing stores in Forks, just a couple of sporting goods stores. Edward stopped in a town called Port Angeles, just outside of Forks, and I made my quick shopping trip. It felt weird actually paying for something; usually I just took what I needed from where ever I could get it. I ended up buying two dresses, three pairs of jeans, a new pair of tennis shoes, one pair of black pumps and six shirts that could be mixed and matched. It was the most I've owned in fifty years. I finally started to feel somewhat normal.

I changed into one of the dresses when we got back in the car. It was fitted with an ice blue bodice and black skirt. I slipped on the heels, and looked up at Edward.

He had a silly grin on his face then he nodded and said, "I approve."

"Well, that's good because I solely chose this dress for your benefit," I said sarcastically. He laughed.

Edward peeled away from the curb and we kept on our course to Forks. His cell phone rang about three minutes later.

"Masen," he answered friendly, "Yep, I've got her," he looked at me and smiled, I couldn't help but smile, "We'll be there in about ten minutes, tell Alice and Rosalie not to tackle her and you all should give her some space when she first gets there, remember she's very new to this diet. Alrighty Carlisle, see you all in a bit."

Edward grabbed my hand and held it firmly, "Bella, I know this is going to be extremely difficult for you and I know you'll have a lot of questions for the Cullen's but just remember, they were completely crushed after Jasper attacked, they lost friends too, don't be too harsh on them, and give them a chance to explain. They are all very excited to see you again, but also very worried about how you will react. If ever you feel like you are about to lose it, let me know and we can go out and take a break, and you can hunt some more. I don't want you to become overwhelmed."

"Thank you, Edward," that was all I could manage to say, I felt extremely nervous. There were fear, anger, and gratefulness coursing through my body; it was a weird mix of emotions.

"Oh, and Bella,"

"Yes?"

"I'm so proud of you," Edward leaned in and gave me a quick kiss on the lips. I couldn't believe that I was beginning to feel human again. Edward saying that he was proud of me reminded me of my parents and Jacob, they were always encouraging any new dream that I wanted to chase. I couldn't speak; a sincere smile was the only response I could communicate. Edward turned off the road onto a long wooded drive way. The forest here was so dense and green; it was unlike anything I'd ever seen. We only had a few sparse cacti where I lived in Arizona, this place was beautiful. I was broken out of my reverie when Edward turned to me and said, "We're almost there."

The woods gave way to a beautiful three story white house nestled into a clearing

. Wildflowers grew around the house and ivy snaked up walls. A porch wrapped around the entire house and huge windows acted as walls in some areas. It was breath-taking. I could hear the Cullen's talking on the inside.

"Carlisle! She's here!" I heard Alice screech. It was so strange to hear her voice.

"I know, I know Alice, you have to reign in your enthusiasm, I know you're excited but you don't know how Bella will react, you must give her some time," Carlisle followed up.

I got out of the car and followed Edward up the stairs and on to the porch.

"Take a deep breath, Bella." It didn't matter. I could already smell them and it was scorching my throat. Venom was flowing and there was nothing I could do about it.

"It's not going to help, Edward." He gave me a sympathetic look, and I quick kiss, and then opened the door.

If I thought being outside was bad, being inside surround by the wonderful scent was almost the death of me. I had to stop breathing. I tried to focus on other things like the interior. It was just as beautiful as the outside, where there wasn't window walls there were white walls. There were paintings hung everywhere, mostly recognizable masterpieces from the greats, Da Vinci, Michelangelo, Botticelli, and more modern greats like Dali, Van Gogh, and Seurat. Everything was light and clean with modern furniture pieces mixed in with antique, everything seemed to fit together, Esme must have been the one in control of decorating. Before I could ponder anymore of the house, Alice came barreling down the stairs and almost knocked me to the ground in a hug. I snarled and growled and she immediately backed off and apologized before bursting into tears.

"I'm, I'm so sorry, Bella," she sobbed. I wasn't sure what she was sorry for nearly tackling me or letting her boyfriend turn my family into a meal. I didn't respond to her, I was still holding my breath, and what could I have possibly said? I was angry and to be honest, I just wanted to leave. Seeing Alice brought back a lot of memories, they were fuzzy due to my human eyes, but I still knew them. Alice and I having sleep-overs during high school, staying up late talking about the cutest guys, sharing our dreams, her agreeing to be my maid-of-honor, and her telling me she was completely in love with Jasper. And then the lie that she and her whole family had been telling me the whole time that I knew and trusted them. Carlisle came down the stairs with Esme, Emmett, and Rosalie following behind. They kept their distance from me unlike Alice; she continued sobbing but then went to join her family.

"Bella," Carlisle finally spoke, "I don't even know where to begin." I still said nothing; I just stared at them indifferently. I remembered that Edward was with me as he snaked his arm around my waist, which settled me somewhat.

Esme was the next to speak, "Bella, we are so terribly sorry; even if I live forever I will never forgive myself for letting that terrible tragedy happen." The entire family spoke up in agreement with Esme's statement. I had still yet to say anything. Edward nudged me; I turned around with a fierce look on my face.

"Say something," he prodded.

"Edward, we know this is over-whelming, she doesn't have to say anything if she doesn't want to," Carlisle said. I saw Esme bow her head as tears began to fall from her eyes. Emmett and Rosalie were still frozen in the same manner as they had when they entered the room.

"You've got a nice house," that was all I could say. Wow, Bella that was great.

Edward pulled me tighter to him. Carlisle spoke, "Thank you." Esme lifted her head and wiped her red-rimmed eyes.

"Would you like to come in and sit down?" she questioned.

"No, I'm fine standing," I just wanted my answers so that I could begin my hunt for Jasper. Esme hung her head again.

"Okay, Bella, I know you came here looking for answers, my family and I are at your disposal, ask away," Carlisle said impatiently. Oh no, that tone wasn't going to work for me.

"Fine then, why in the hell would you think it would be a good idea to bring a thirsty vampire trying to steer clear of human blood to a birthday party containing only humans? And why, did you lie to me about what you all were the years that I knew you? You could trust me! Alice, you were my best friend! We shared everything!" I was losing it. Alice began to weep again. Anger was getting the best of me, even with Edward holding on tightly to my body, he'd be no match if I actually tried to break free

"Why are you crying, Alice? If anything I should be the one crying! But you know what? I can't do that anymore because your damned boyfriend took my life away from me! He took everything, and you all just let him!" I was done, I literally hit the door running, it slammed and knocked several paintings off the wall and caused the whole house to quiver. I knew Edward was behind me, but I didn't stop. I ran deep into the forest but stopped when I came across a beautiful meadow.

* * *

**I would love it if you all left a review! Reading your reviews makes my day. I'm so glad that you all like to read my story and take time out of your day to read it, and I would love to talk back with you and tell you thank you.**

**Next chapter probably around the middle of the week!**


	6. Chapter 6

The meadow was around 20 feet in diameter with a carpet of wild-flowers, it was beautiful. Edward ran into the back of me and fell to the ground.

"Damn, Bella give me some warning," he mumbled. I turned around and bared my teeth at him. I was in no mood for his crap. He immediately apologized, "Bella, I'm sorry. That didn't exactly go how I thought it would." Edward slowly got up and walked towards me, I was still impossibly angry; I didn't want to be here.

"Bella, sit down with me, let's talk," Edward gestured to his side as he sank to the ground. I had yet to say anything, but I complied and sat down next to Edward.

"The Cullen's only want to make up for what happened to your parents and friends; they just don't know how to do that. They want you back in their lives. I know it's going to take awhile for you to trust them again, but we have to work towards that."

"Why _we? _I mean why do you want to help me some much?" I questioned. He laid back in the meadow, the purple and yellow wild-flowers created a halo around his beautiful bronze hair.

"Because I have feelings for you that I've never had for anyone else, Bella, I care for you, deeply, even after knowing you for such a short time. I'm past the point of no return; I can never take these feelings back, give them up, or let you go. I want to be with you and help you through this task that we have ahead of us. I know its going to be difficult, but it's something that we will go through together, if you want me, if not, well then I don't know what I would do. I know where I want to be, it's with you, forever. But now it's your choice."

I looked down at Edward to see his eyes gazing into mine. He just poured his soul out to me; this wonderful, caring, and gorgeous man wants me, a broken, lost, murderous vampire. Maybe he saw potential in me that I did not. This made my feelings even stronger for him.

"I don't want to hold you back from anything. I mean what were you doing with your life before I almost killed you in that park that night?" I asked.

"I was looking for you," he replied, totally shocking me, "tracking you actually. It's a hobby of mine." He was grinning ear to ear.

"Is that so?" I said as I reclined next to him, "Why?"

"The Cullen's wanted to find you, to explain their side of the story, and to get you back in their lives."

"Well, why didn't one of them try to find me?"

"I told them that I was trying my hand at tracking again, and would like to help find you for them. Plus, they said you were very attractive, how could I pass that up?"

He flashed one of those stop-your-heart-even-though-its-already-stopped smiles and I had to laugh back.

"You sure know what to say to make me feel better. So why didn't you just tell me who you were when I found you?"

"Because it was fun watching you try to lure me in, I was just about to tell you what was what, when you ran off. I, of course, had to get up and follow you."

"So, you saw me kill all those people?"

"Unfortunately, yes, I wanted to stop you, but you were on a rampage, I never would have been able to."

"Sorry about that.''

"It was your only nature then. So what's your verdict?"

"On what?"

"Me accompanying you on your adventure."

"Oh, sorry, I'm going to have to turn you down," Edward's face fell, "I just don't think I can have a guy following me around who-knows-where, helping me out and caring for me. That would just be torture." I flashed a sly smile at him.

"Oh you," he said as he rolled on top of me and found my lips with his. Kissing Edward was just awesome now. I'd learned how to block out the burning in my throat and just enjoy it.

I opened my eyes and found his staring back, "Yes, Edward, I want you with me." He gave me that gorgeous smile again, and pressed his lips to mine. This kiss was the most passionate kiss we had ever shared.

When Edward broke loose, he sat up and pulled me into his lap. He had to mold his body around my marble-like body. He was cradling me against his chest with my mouth at his neck.

I opened my mouth and blew cold air into his neck, he shuddered but showed no signs of being uncomfortable, "This doesn't bother you?" I asked.

"Nope, I'm not afraid of you, sweet pea," I replied. I smiled and pressed my cool lips into his warm, pulsing skin. I flicked my tongue over the veins that ran there, and it tasted delicious, distinctly Edward.

He looked down at me, "Do I taste good?" he laughed.

"Oh, yes, very much so," I answered.

He grinned, then his face turned serious, "Bella, you know you have to go back to the Cullen's house and talk to them."

"Yeah, I know," I huffed.

"We can go tomorrow, if you'd like. We don't have to go back tonight. I think it'd be best if we waited, you know, to let them think and give you some more time to cool off."

"I'm fine Edward, thanks to you. You make me feel human again, but yes, I would like to take the night off and go back tomorrow." I felt relieved that I could put off the big talk until tomorrow. Just then Edward's stomach rumbled.

"Oh my gosh, Edward, I'm so completely sorry!"

"What!? What's the matter, Bella?"

"I didn't even think about the fact that you have to eat! You haven't had anything to eat in like, four days!"

"It's totally _like, _not even a big deal," he said mocking my little freak out,

"I don't have to eat every day, a big meal every couple of days keeps me going. I'm perfectly fine."

"Oh, well ok then. So, what're we going to do until tomorrow? Where can we go?"

Edward didn't say anything; he just grinned, stood up and offered his hand to me. I didn't need it but I let him help me anyway. He removed his hand from mine then stood there for like five seconds just staring at me. Finally, he broke the silence when he smacked me on the shoulder and screamed, "Tag you're it!" then took off running into the woods. Huh? Was he being serious? I followed after him but he was no where in sight. The only thing that I could follow was his scent. He left an erratic trail through the forest, weaving in and out of trees, over and under huge boulders. I couldn't understand how he was moving so fast. I kept the scent of the trail until it finally broke through to another small clearing.

There were more than just wild-flowers in this meadow. A small, but wonderful house was perched in the middle of the clearing. It looked like something straight out of a fairy-tale, almost as if it were just a natural fixture in the earth. Its walls where covered in river-worn stones and the roof looked as if it were thatched together from leaves of a palm-like fern. It was just adorable. My eyes caught something moving and then found Edward sitting in a swing on the front porch.

"What took ya so long, honey?" he said, smiling.

"This is your house?" I asked, astounded.

"Yep, yep, _Casa de Eduardo, _you like it?"

"It's awesome! You built this all yourself?"

"Sure did," I could see the pride radiating from him, "It's not much, nothing compared to the Cullen house-"

I cut him off, he was not going to berate this perfect little house, "You're right it doesn't compare to the Cullen house, this is so much better."

Edward got out of the swing and bounded over to me and picked me up in a huge hug and spun us around.

"I'm so glad you like it!" he was just like a little kid whose mom hung a picture he drew on the refrigerator. I couldn't tell which was more adorable, Edward or his house.

"Can I see inside?"

"Of course, I'll give you the grand tour," he waved his left hand towards the front door and placed his right hand in the small of my back, "This way, my lady."

Edward led the way through his perfect little house. Everything was carved out of wood, the beds, couches, desks, well everything.

"This is just completely awesome, Edward, it's amazing to think that you made this whole thing, it's perfect." He was rumbling around in the refrigerator. He turned around with a pack of steak in his mouth, and vegetables in his hands.

"Thank you," he mumbled with the pack in his mouth. He set the food down and grabbed a skillet from underneath the counter.

"This isn't going to bother you is it, me eating?" he questioned

"No, go ahead. I know you're probably hungry," I replied. He grabbed a knife and opened the steak. The smell of blood and raw meat floated through the air, but surprisingly it didn't make me thirsty, to tell the truth it was kind of repulsive. I crinkled up my nose and Edward noticed.

"You want some?" he joked, holding the steak up.

"No, thanks," I said, showing my distaste, "I like my blood fresh."

Edward laughed, "Yeah, I bet this smells pretty bad to you."

"Yeah, just a bit." Edward moved around the kitchen with grace, it was fascinating to watch. He sliced, chopped and seasoned like a pro. It was very sexy; who knew cooking could be sexy? I giggled at my self.

"What's so funny, Ms. Swan?

"It's pretty hot watching you move around the kitchen like that."

"Is that so?" he asked. He then stuck his finger in the marinade that he had made for his steak and slowly brought it to his mouth and sucked it off. He closed his eyes and groaned, "Oh it's so good."

"Damn," I muttered to myself.

Edward erupted into a fit of laughter, "You are just too funny, Bella, come here."

His voice was musical. I could listen to him say "come here" a million times and never get tired. Blue October's "18th Floor Balcony" began to play from the next room. Edward wrapped his arms around my waist and began moving us to the beat of the song.

He leaned into my ear and began singing the song to me, "I knew it from the start, so my arms are open wide. Your head is on my stomach, and we're, we're trying so hard not to fall asleep. Here we are on this 18th floor balcony, we're both flying away." Edward had the most beautiful singing voice I had ever heard. I held him closer to me, unwilling to let him go.

* * *

**Tehe, so we're now seeing them get closer and closer. Next update, Sunday or Monday. Happy Easter!**

**Please review! I love hearing what you all think!**


	7. Chapter 7

**I would like to thank zakisha for reviewing each chapter and for recommending my story on her Twitter. That is just awesome, it makes me fell all warm and fuzzy (haha). Thank you!! **

**Oh and sorry this is so late, real life got in the way of me getting this chapter up on time. ****L**

* * *

Edward's stomach rumbling broke us out of our dance, "Go ahead you need to eat."

"Sorry," he said with a smile. I watched on with mild disgust as Edward ate his meal. Nothing he was eating smelled remotely appetizing. After dinner, Edward collapsed on his bed, I forgot he could sleep, man; this is going to take some getting used to.

"I don't necessarily have to sleep, but it's enjoyable, and it keeps my energy up. Do you want to come lay with me?"

How could I pass that up? "Of course," I said maybe a little too excitedly. I scurried over to Edward's bed, it was a big four poster bed made completely out of wood just like everything else in the house.

"This is so pretty, Edward," I said as I ran my hand over the detailing that was carved into the posts. They were covered in small, ornate carvings, some looked like animals others were shapes with smaller detailing inside.

"Thank you, it's one of my favorite pieces that I made," Edward said proudly.

After I had finished exploring the rest of the carvings, I sat back against the headboard which had a small house over looking farm land.

"Where's this?" I asked.

"It was my parent's house in London," Edward replied. I then noticed something above the beautifully carved house, two faces, a man and a woman, were staring back at me with wooden eyes.

"Are these your parents?"

"Yes, I wanted to have some way to remember them, remember what I lost and what I had killed," he said solemnly.

"Edward, it's beautiful, your parents would be so proud of you, everything you've built and done for yourself, it's just amazing. I am in total awe of you."

Edward lightly laughed, "Thank you, Bella that really means a lot to me. I'm sure your parents are proud of you."

"Yeah, sure, who wouldn't be proud of a murderous, rampant vampire?"

"Not your past, but what you are doing for yourself now, you're trying to be good, and make your life right. Plus, you snagged me, who could not be proud of you for that?"

"Ha-ha, you are just so funny," I stated and stuck out my tongue.

"You know it," Edward said as he yawned.

"Go to sleep, Edward."

"Only if you'll lay down with me," he said sticking out his bottom lip.

"If I have to, gosh," I laughed. I snuggled down next to Edward and he put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me closer.

"I could really get used to this," Edward said in a deep, velvet voice. I melted.

"Oh, yes sir, me too." Edward laughed and pulled my lips to his. Our little good night kiss soon turned into a great night kiss, and I felt like a teenager again, making out in my boyfriend's bed while his parents were away.

Edward broke away, "Bella, I know I'm going to sound like a real pansy for saying this, but we can't go any further than kissing, at least until you're like me. You're too strong and if we get going at it really good, which I know we will, you could possibly hurt me. Wow, I sound like a girl."

"You're not a girl, I understand, it's ok now get some sleep."

"What're you going to do all night?"

"Just lay here and chill, I haven't laid on a bed in fifty years, it's quite enjoyable."

Edward laughed, "Alrighty then."

"Sweet dreams, Edward." "Sweet laying-there-and-chilling, Bella." We shared one last good night kiss and Edward fell asleep. I laid there in his arms and felt perfectly at home. I closed my eyes and thought about everything that had happened in the last few days. My world had been turned completely upside down, thanks to this wonderful man lying next to me. Tomorrow was going to be difficult, I had to control my temper and try to listen to what the Cullen's wanted to say. Thank God Edward would be there, I could not do this without him. I looked over at his peaceful face and questioned what I did to deserve him. Sure, he had his moments of cocky annoyance, but his kindness, understanding and compassion out weighed any flaws of his. Not to mention that he was gorgeous, he looked more like an angel than human. His breathing had evened out and he was fast asleep. I had a whole night to simply stare at him and memorize every perfect inch of his body. While I was memorizing, he rolled over on me, flattening himself against me. He was still asleep. I had to stifle the giggle that was trying to escape my mouth. Edward was just too cute when he slept. Finally the light of day began to creep across

Edward's bedroom. The light hit Edward's face and he sleepily opened his eyes.

He smiled at me, "What're you doing down there?" he slurred.

I began to laugh, "You rolled over on me last night."

"Why didn't you push me off or wake me up?"

I tapped my finger on his nose, "Well, because you looked too damn cute, I couldn't wake you up."

"Wow," he said as he propped himself on his elbows and gave me a quick kiss on the forehead, "I could just lay here all day with you."

"Sounds good to me," I said excitedly.

Edward let a small laugh out then turned serious, "I'm sorry, sweet pea, but you know we have to go talk to the Cullen's."

"Ugh, I know, but laying here with you sounds much more appealing."

"Yeah, I know what you mean," Edward said as he rolled off of me and got out of the bed. He then began to take his shirt off and dropped his sleeping pants to the ground. Damn.

"Take it off, baby!" I yelled across the room. Edward turned red, I actually made Edward Masen blush, what an accomplishment. He walked into the bathroom to continue his undressing. No fair.

I then remembered that I left all of my new clothes in Edward's car. At the Cullen's house. This day was just going to be awesome.

Edward returned from the bathroom in jeans and a Metallica shirt. My jaw dropped.

"What?" he asked with a confused look on his face.

"I never would have taken you for a Metallica kind of guy, but I like it."

"Oh yeah, they're one of my favorites. So, are you going to change?"

"I kinda sorta left my clothes in your car which is kinda sorta still at the Cullen's house," I said.

"Would you like to borrow some of mine or just wear what you have on?"

"I'm fine in this, I guess."

"Okay then, are you ready to go?"

"If I have to."

"Yes, you do," we walked to the door and we ran to the Cullen's hand-in-hand.

The Cullen's were waiting for us in their living room. I could feel the tension in the room as if there was a rubber band holding everything together but threatening to snap.

"How are you today, Bella, willing to talk? Please?" Carlisle inquired.

"Yes, I am. I'd like to apologize for losing my temper; I'm new at all this."

"We understand; we'd just like a chance to better explain ourselves."

"Alright," I said flatly.

"Bella, we did not blindly let Jasper come to your party, we honestly believed that he had moved past the desire for human blood. He had been working at it for four years. He and Alice were soon going to set off in their adventure to find his creator, when he lost all control. The fact that he was under our watch when he lost it is something that we have had to live with everyday. We know that he took everyone you loved away from you."

"I still love them," I interrupted.

"I know, I know. The sadness that we have felt for you is indescribable."

"How could you just leave me there burning and with no idea as to what was really happening? I've been alone for fifty years with no one and nothing."

"That was our biggest mistake," Esme spoke up, "We should have never left you. The fact that we did makes us the biggest monsters. We were panicked and terrified as to what would happen to our family if someone happened upon the scene, so we burned your house and fled." Esme hung her head in disappointment.

"You've had fifty years to find me, why didn't try before now?"

Alice was the one to speak now, "Bella, we have been trying, but it's not easy to find someone in which you have no idea as to where they would be, and not a one of us are trackers. We were so lucky when Edward decided he would locate you. We are so grateful for him."

"So would you all have any clue as to where Jasper might be? I would like to get going to find him; after he is gone we will have plenty of time to talk."

Alice began crying, could she still have feelings for him?

"Alice, do you still have feelings for Jasper?" I asked blatantly.

"I loved him, Bella," she said through her tears, " of course I still have feelings for him, you never forget your first love. Have you forgotten about Jacob now that you have Edward?" Everyone's head snapped to Alice then me.

Her question cut like a knife, there goes my temper "Where in the hell do you get off asking me a question like that!? No, I have not forgotten Jacob, I could never do that. Jacob was my everything! Everything that your boyfriend took away! You're in love with a murderer!"

"Well, so is Edward. Tell me Bella, just how many people have you murdered and taken away from their family?" Edward moved to wrap his arms around my shaking body. "Baby, baby it's okay. Shh, Shh," he began to whisper calming words in my ear.

"ALICE CULLEN!" Carlisle yelled, "Rosalie, Emmett, get your sister far away from here."

"I don't need them. I'm out of here!" Alice yelled. She slammed the door but with much less force then I did the previous day, the paintings stayed on the wall.

Carlisle spoke, "Bella, I am so sorry for Alice's outburst. It is completely inexcusable, she knows that she had to let go of Jasper. He didn't want to be here either. To tell the truth I was glad to see him gone, but certainly not glad to see the circumstances to which he had to go. When Jasper left, he said he was going back to Texas, were he was created. He wanted to find his previous family and 'live freely like a normal vampire' as he put it. He was a Confederate soldier in the Civil War when he was changed, he wanted that lifestyle back and he said were 'insane for choosing this ridiculous lifestyle.' Begin your search there. Please find him, Bella. Get the peace in your life that he took away from you. Maybe then we could begin to forgive ourselves, and you could begin to forgive us. We wish you nothing but the best, Bella, and Edward; we can not thank you enough for returning Bella to us. You seem to make her very happy, we are eternally grateful for you."

Esme nodded in agreement and said, "Bella, we love you. You were like a daughter to us; we would love to have you as apart of the family again. I know it's going to take awhile, but we will always be here for you and Edward."

"Thank you for taking the time to talk to me, Carlisle and Esme. I am trying to be better; there is just a lot that I have to sort through beginning with Jasper. I'll try to check in every now and then, thank you again."

Edward stepped forward to hug Esme and shake Carlisle's hand, "We'll be going now, wish us luck."

"Good luck," Carlisle and Esme said simultaneously.


End file.
